For some of us, running into an ex can be absolutely horrifying. For me, it’s pretty much the emotional equivalent of having a heart attack while trying not to vomit.

Luckily, I’ve run into exes one too many times, and by now, have developed a clear seven-step survival plan for what to say when you want them to know you’re doing better.

1. Fill them in on the things you’ve gotten to do since the breakup.

The key here is to not actually use the words “since the breakup.” Your ex will understand these things happened after they knew you.

Every time I run into an ex, I make sure to talk about the adventures I’ve had at luxury resorts or the time I went skydiving. That makes him feels like shit about his mind-numbingly boring finance job in the city. They may even admit how boring their life is, in which case, one point for you.

This is not the time to be self-deprecating.

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